Trout Republic: 60 is the new 40

Recently Ol’ Dutch came into possession of the radio that my grandfather purchased before 1940. It’s a cool old set that stands upright and is about 3 feet wide and 4 feet tall. 

A classic in its own right, it does not work but all the parts are there and I hope to get them working someday. And that is exactly what Miss Trixie says about Ol’ Dutch, himself.

My grandparents listened to FDR’s fireside chats and news of the war on this machine. It got them through many a night in the cold Kansas winters. 

Eventually, television was invented, though, and to feed that expensive Boob Tube content, more and more advertising was added to each show trying to entice watchers to buy Harry’s Hernia Belt, Mabel's Moisturizer, Doan's Backache Pills, Milk of Magnesia and Rice A Roni, the San Francisco Treat. 

For the advertising giants had found out via roadside billboards and radio spots that if you told people something enough times, they finally would believe you and make choices for the products shown. 

Now with cell phones and the internet we are constantly bombarded with advertising that is delivered at an ever increasing rate. 

And the internet never forgets so after about a year of searching for items online or vacations to some exotic locale, you will be inundated with so much information you will reach critical mass. 

Many of you recall that pre-Trixie Ol’ Dutch had availed himself of the internet dating site

The problem on there was that the pictures and information for the ladies featured could be misleading and even considered downright lies. Imagine thinking you are going to meet this gorgeous 40 year old vivacious vixen and arriving at the meet up place only to find a 60 year old fading school mom with wrinkles enough to make a roadmap of the desert Southwest.

Now there is nothing wrong with anyone at any age but honestly, in this case 60 was not the new 40 although I must say that the grandmas today certainly don't look like my grandmother did back in the day. 

Today they have stretch pants and crop tops, blonde hair and red lips, drive sports cars in sports bras, eat sushi, quiche and drink margaritas from gallon jugs. I am pretty sure that my grandma probably had to take a little nip once in a while just to put up with grandpa but her standard housecoat attire was far from what we see today. 

But as you all know, appearances can be deceiving and Ol’ Dutch has begun to be able to better ascertain if I am getting a deal or not. 

Just yesterday I went to the drive through car wash here in the Dallas area and perusing the types of washes available suddenly a little mask clad girl appeared at my door with a great sales pitch about why the $38 wash was better than the $6. 

Now Ol’ Dutch wasn't born yesterday -- as Miss Trixie likes to point out -- and so I opted for the cheaper wash. The lady ahead of me in line had a gorgeous model and both the front end and rear end had lines to die for. And that was just her. The car was pretty nice, too. 

And obviously she cared about her car or her image more than Ol’ Dutch and she chose the $38 wash. The machine quickly hitched onto our tires and drug us through the soapy, soppy, soggy towel flopping and spraying contraption and out the other side we emerged with clean cars. 

I was so pleased to finally get the white beast washed but soon began to think about the lady in the sports car and me. We went through the same wash, had the same amount of time with the same washes and rinses but for different amounts of money. 

P.T Barnum once said, “A sucker is born every minute.” and there is always someone out there to take his money. And that has never been truer than it is today so watch yourself out there. You never know when someone will come along offering you a silk purse made from a sow's ear and no I am not talking about dating older women. Knowing the difference makes all the difference. 

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or  hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at or on Twitter at TroutRepublic


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