Trout Republic

Most of us can recall the hubbub that occurred when schools started to teach about evolution and how horrified our parents were about that.
And to their credit, they had taught us about a God who watched over the affairs of men and the knowledge that He was watching kept more than a few of us out of jail at the least.
But it really turned out to be a bunch of halloo about nothing as people still believed in God and the world didn’t come to an end over that as predicted.
One of the tenets of evolution, is that any species will adapt through time and the smarter ones will live, and by doing so, will also pass their intelligence on to their progeny as well.
This past week found Miss Trixie and myself -- the ever handsome Ol’ Dutch -- back in my old stompin’ grounds in Kansas. This was a twofold trip to see my dad, Fast Freddy, plus do some deer hunting for that good corn fed venison.
The former is pretty good and the latter, well, the hunting has been better which got me to thinking. Looking up now I see Trixie rolling her eyes about that last sentence and that poor girl must suffer terribly from dry eye. Well she does suffer terribly but more likely from dry humor on my part.
But anyways, the deer hunting has not been as good as in years past as Ol’ Dutch was often able to convince more than a few of those delicious deer to go home with me. This year they just are not to be found and I am beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, I shot all the dumb ones down through the years and now I am left to hunt the brainiacs of the deer world.
Kansas has long been known for a great whitetail deer population and Ol’ Dutch never had a problem filling his tags until last year. Which makes me believe that all that are left are the smart deer of this planet.
So, sitting out on a hillside like some wise old Sage of yonder year, I pondered about how maybe the same kind of thing is happening in the human race. Maybe the smarter ones survive better and just maybe that means there is hope for eternal for our planet?
I was just starting to really feel good about that idea when I reflect back on the past weeks police reports from a county in Texas.
During the week we had a woman attack another with a spatula, a bee fly up a kid’s nose, someone using hairspray like a blowtorch to harm another and last but not least, someone shot himself in the south end of their northbound body. That was an accident of course as no one purposefully shoots them self in their sitting down parts.
Though I don’t know any of these interesting folks, this all disturbed me because I realize that centuries of this kind of behavior has not thinned out the lame brains from amongst us one iota. Because if that worked, we would not have the nonsense that goes on every day around us.
Why just the other day I was telling Miss Trixie – well, actually I told her  nothing as she already knows it all.
I guess the most important thing a person needs to be sure in selecting is a good soulmate for a companion. We have all seen or been a part of just the opposite and that’s not good at all and the resulting sheet splitting is nasty.
I think most likely the best place to find a good mate is the local farm supply store. For it is there that a man can find a woman that can tote a sack full of cattle pellets, open a gate and vaccinate a calf, all which come in handier than one that can put on fake eyelashes.
Even Ol’ Dutch came to his senses after several near dalliances with high maintenance women and luckily found me a gal that can fish and cook and even lead an expedition to Mount Everest.
And let me tell you folks something here. That’s some kind of natural selection that you can’t get even at the local big box store.

Kevin Kirkpatrick and his Yorkie, Cooper, fish, hunt, ATV or hike daily. His email is [email protected]. Additional news can be found at www.troutrepublic.com or on Twitter at TroutRepublic.